parents – Ava's Journal Entries

September 12, 2009

Saturday

NSFW entry!

Last night I went to work and worked with Shelby, Hilly and Derek. I found out Hilly and Derek had sex in April and I told her and Shelby about me and Derek. So that was a little unexpected. And today I was supposed to go to a birthday party for Grace, Maddy and Kayla, but I couldn’t so I sat at home. Crappy day. Mom and Cathy had a bonfire so I talked with them and dad and the first step to getting my freedom back is to find a new job. I’m not going to tell anyone at work about it. But I’ll talk with my friends about it. I’m thinking I’ll try Michael’s again, and maybe Target. Whatever. I guess I’ll go to bed. I’m sleepy.

G’night!
❤ Ava Estelle

Present day me: I remember during the process of me finding a job and figuring out where to apply to my parents both told me that no job is beneath me and I should apply to different places. Then when I get a job at goodwill, my mom decides that everyone who works there is below me and isn’t good enough to be my friend and then threatens me to find a new job just 5 months after I started. Really really lame.

September 9, 2009

Wednesday

I’m fucking screwed again.

Mom and dad found out I was with Derek on Saturday night. God fucking damnit! So I’m in deeper shit and can’t go anywhere and probably have to wait longer to get my car back. Mom hasn’t gotten home yet so it’s just a matter of time until I get my ass chewed again. UGH! I hate this. And Derek isn’t texting me back – he just did and said okay. Nothing more to say. I just hope to God I can keep my job.

PLEASE LORD!!!

I know I’ve lost my parents’ trust and gotten the car taken away. Please just let me keep my job. I won’t hang out with Derek or anyone else. I will stay with my friends and people from my school. Please please please please. And it’d be great if I could go to Kayla’s party. But I doubt it.

Bad night.

Ava Estelle

Present day me: I remember this time very well and learning that my mom especially had issues and was extremely judgmental about the people who worked at my job. She required me to get a job when I was 16 but then judged who I worked with and took any opportunity she could to control me and who I spent time with. It was like she couldn’t trust me to learn on my own and tried to keep me within this invisible box.

August 22, 2009 (2)

August 22, 2009

Later the same day.

In major deep shit.

Mom and dad came to work and found Kyle waiting for me in my car. Dad told him to get out and he can’t date me and stay away from me. Kyle called his mom to pick him up and mom told her I’m not allowed at his house. I came out of work happy and excited and was greeted by that. Mom and dad standing there pissed off. I can’t drive my car until I find a new job, or until Kyle is done with community service. Then they might negotiate. So, I texted a few people and chatted with Kyle on myspace when I got home. He said it’ll be too hard to see me at work and get over me, so he might just go to jail for 8 days. So yeah. I feel like my parents are being really judgmental. But he wouldn’t of gotten along with my friends – they wouldn’t of liked him. So yeah. I really really want to hang out with my friends though. So bad right now. So yeah. Let’s hope my parents don’t make me cancel my birthday party. I talked with Brandon, Garrett, and Cathy on facebook. I feel sad and bad and guilty. But it was fun while it lasted. My second relationship of the summer only lasted for almost 24 hours. Ugh!

I hate this. G’night

Ava Estelle

Present day me: My parents were skeptical about me wanting to just be friends with Kyle so when I told them I was going to night games that night they came to my work to try and bust me in the act. They found Kyle in my car before I got out of work so they were alarmed and then made the decision to force him away from me. In retrospect it was a good move but at the time I was really frustrated and mad.

April 5, 2009

Sunday!

Another weekend gone by. Kind of a boring one. But didn’t have to go to the cabin! Yay! On Friday night (since I didn’t have any plans) Hannah and I went out. I drove and we went to Michael’s, Cold stone and the mall. It was good to just hang out with it just being the two of us. We went in the photo booth three times and to wet seal and tried on clothes. The whole time I was texting with Harry and Brad trying to get the low-down on where Brandon was hanging out that night. Turns out it was at Greg’s house. If it was someone’s house where I knew where they lived, then Hannah and I probably would of went over and crashed their party. But instead we hung out at the mall and I drove her home and we blasted music and rolled down the windows. And then on Saturday all 5 of us, my family, went to Aunt Brenda and Uncle Bill’s house for their son’s first birthday party. It was pretty boring. And today Meryl, Mom and I went to the mall and shopped. I handed in my applications and got new t-shirts. I had tried on a really hot dress at Yonkers and I put a picture of it on facebook and Brandon loves it. Hehe. I loved that dress too. But couldn’t buy it. Too bad. Maybe he will have a dream with me in it wearing the dress. 😊 hehe. Well I’m going to keep trying to get answers out of Devin.

G’night<3

Present day me: It’s comforting to read entries like this, just a regular weekend spent with friends and family.