2009 – Ava's Journal Entries

December 23, 2009

So today was an okay day.

Mom and dad were both gone when I woke up so I took a shower and everything and then mom had me start the laundry. Ha perfect. So she wouldn’t smell my clothes. They didn’t smell that bad. I called Rhonda and told her all about it and that was good. Paula came over for about an hour and I told her too. We talked about pot too and I’m a “couple pages” ahead of her, because I guess she hasn’t put it all the way in. so yeah. It’s weird to think about it and not tell anyone. I don’t really feel proud or relieved I just feel like, “okay, I hung out with him again and this time we did something different.” I do hope we hang out again thought before I leave for Mexico, I would like to try it again. Hopefully he would, I think he would. I like friends with benefits though because there’s no emotional attachment. I didn’t cry, I’m not in desperate need to see him again or talk to him, so yeah. I feel perfectly fine about it. And tomorrow I’m working with Gil, and Hunter but it’ll be okay. Tomorrow is Christmas eve. And that means I’ll be spending mucho time with family. Great. Oh! And we rented the hangover tonight. It was funny!

G’night! ❤ Ava Estelle

December 22, 2009

NSFW entry!

Last day of school! It’s now Christmas break! 😊

Okay day at school.

After I ran to the bank, picked up Rhonda, then went to Goodwill to buy those make-your-butt-look-better shoes. But they weren’t there. We went over to Delia’s to exchange presents along with Tabitha. And then we went to Pizza Ranch for dinner, there was a cute busboy there named Kyle hehe. After Rhonda and I went to the mall so I went to Victoria’s Secret and bought a new bra. After that I took her home and then chilled at Shopko for a while until Derek was done with work. I went over to his place and we had some fun. We had sex. He put it in, wore a condom and it really really hurt. I like his fingers better. After I just wore my pants and bra around and he wore just his pants. We ate pizza and watched the beginning of a movie and then I left to be home by midnight. Got home, both mom and dad are asleep. That’s it.

My hands smell like him really bad, I gave him a hand job and made him cum of course and he fingered me which felt good as always, it was nice but not as good as other times. So yeah, hopefully we’ll hang out another time before break? I’d want to. Okay, that’s it. Bye!

G’night ❤ Ava Estelle

December 20, 2009

Sunday

Yesterday: worked the 8 hour last shift. Closed with Derek. I was really hyper at the end of the night as we were taking down the signs. Me, Derek and Gabby all walked around and talked about stuff. It was fun, we pulled that’s what she said jokes and goofed off. After work I went to Maddy’s house. I ended up just sitting in the bathroom and talking with Ashley about boys, friends, school. It was good. I texted Derek while I was there, I was so hyper and wanted to hang out with him so bad so I texted him, “Your hot 😉” and he said back, “thank you, and your sexy” that’s basically it. After Maddy’s Delia and I went to Green Mill and got food – spinach dip and quesadillas. We talked about a ton of stuff and then went to her house and watched 17 again with Zac Efron and Sterling Knight. And then we watched an episode of community. It was fun. Got up at 7:30, came home and went to church, and now I’m just chillen at home. I’ll probably write more later.

Bye! ❤ Ava Estelle

December 13, 2009

Sunday

Saturday: Dad’s side Christmas at the cabin!

Had to work 8:45-5, drove up to the cabin, we ate, did presents, played LOL! And a new game – INDIAN! So much fun!!! Then just chilled out. Barely had a voice.

Today: everyone left, came home, went to Brad and Devin’s to bake cookies and then to Delia’s and watched Sonny. Came home, and is freezing so much. I barely have a voice so I’m going to try and sleep as much as possible.

G’night ❤ Ava Estelle

December 6, 2009

Sunday

Today: went to church. Came home, went out shopping by myself to get presents for mis amigas. Went to target – found nothing. Wal-mart – got photo paper and then goodwill. Derek was there. He was wearing a black shirt with no sleeves (HOT!) I bought telling time flashcards (50 states game #2) and a hannah montana book for Rhonda. I also took three boxes from goodwill for my LOL mini kits. Derek and I got into my car and drove up to a creek. We were in the back of my car, just did the normal stuff. Wasn’t anything special. It was good to see him again and hang with him 😊 I drove back to the mall, we sat in my car and listened to music – piano man, party hard, bohemian rhapsody. We walked together in the mall for a little bit, and then we went to the food court and I went to inside scoop – good day.

Yesterday: went shopping with Eddie and Meryl. Got stuff for dad’s side. We stopped at Goodwill, I was in sweats and Derek was on his break and came over to me. Shelby had hid my bag so I was trying to find it and he was laughing. Later he texted me saying, “hey your not wearing makeup today are you.” – how do you respond to that? Later Delia came over. We watched an episode of Sonny and then went to Perkin’s. came back and watched more Sonny with a Chance.

Friday: Had a cookie officer meeting at Border’s right after school. It was okay. Just Rhonda, Delia, Haley and me. I took Rhonda home but we stopped at Brad and Devin’s house for cookies and played a little rock band too. Later I went to the improv show with Delia and Tabitha. It was SO funny! We went to sonic afterwards and then Delia took me home. I got my hone back at 10:30 that night, so yeah.

Pretty good weekend!

❤ Ava Estelle 😊

December 2, 2009

Wednesday ~ No school

Last Night: I went to Delia’s house with Rhonda. It was good. We all just talked about everything. Mom and dad were both on my case about shit that I need to get done. Telling me to sign up for the ACT and how my attitude is keeping mom from giving my phone back. It’s really retarded. So, I left my house bawling but controlled myself by the time I got to Rhonda’s. I took her home too and I sneezed and said, “ow, I felt that in my back.” She’s like, “that’s what she said,” ha, I know, perfect right? Haha. So, I just came home and went to bed.

Today: went to the bank and out to Panera with Meryl for her birthday. We didn’t really talk though, just ate. Came home, did homework, ran to kwik trip with Eddie, got gas and candy. And then later I met Delia at the mall. I got some new body spray at bath and body works and car fresheners from yankee candle. We went to Panera to get some amazing mac and cheese! Then we ran to best buy to look at Sonny with a Chance DVDs to get Rhonda for Christmas. We went back to her house to watch four episodes of Sonny. But had to help empty her barn of all the stuff from Halloween. And then we went to starbucks with her mom. Came back, watched sonny (Check it Out girls!!) and ordered pizza and egg rolls from green mill and went to pick it up, got it, came back watched the last episode and ate and I came home at 8.

AFR = awesome freedom reigns

CDC = Chad Dillon Cooper = HOT!

❤ Ava Estelle 😊 GOOD DAY!

November 29, 2009

Sunday

Shit. Fuck. Retarded. Ugh! Damn it. Laaaaame!

Friday: went to Delia’s at 4:30am. Mom and dad made me stay at the lake and drive into town early in the morning. So, I picked up Delia and Andrea. We went just to Target because it was so busy! I parked at Goodwill. I bought two seasons of House and new earrings. I took those two home, came home, showered, went to the bank – took out $350!! And bought a new ipod! Came home. Synced it. Went to New Moon with Delia and Rhonda. It was pretty good the second time. Came home, went to work. Saw Derek. We had break together. He was all over me again. We texted after we closed, and we said how excited we were to hang out tonight. I came home after work and kept pleading with him to come over and then I hear a car door shut. Mom came home. I texted him DON’T COME! And that was the last thing. Mom took away my phone again for “lying” to her. I was going to go to Paula’s house but got out of work late and was exhausted, so I came home. So yeah. I’m screwed again. Saturday, I went to work from one til close. Long shift. Went to Delia’s after and stayed over. We watched Sonny with a Chance and talked about a bunch of stuff. Woke up this morning, came home, went to work from noon til 6:30 and am now home. Ugh. I’m sick of working. I have to go tomorrow too; Derek won’t be there. I really want to see him and tell him he’s not in trouble. Just I am. So that’s all for now. Bye!

Ava Estelle

Present day me: I remember being so busy and worried about my mom busting me for doing nothing. Like, I get punished for coming home after getting out of work late and not going to my friends house like I had told her? Sure, I could have called her to let her know the change but at that time I didn’t see the point. Instead she worried herself and thought the worst of me and took away my phone anyway. Well, that keeps her from getting in touch with me when I’m still going to work and school and seeing my friends from school….

November 26, 2009

NSFW entry!

Thanksgiving day

Well let’s start off with yesterday:

Phoebe came over, she hung out with Eddie, Meryl and I. It was awkward honestly. Everyone went up to the cabin except me because I was called into work. So I went from 3:30 until close. It was actually a good shift. Took a lunch break, got a pizza treatza lunchable! I had lunch break with Diane, Dawn, and Derek. At one point the two ladies were in deep conversation and Derek was reading a book, he started rubbing my leg under the table. Nobody noticed. He went really close to me; it was nice. And then we had our 15-minute break together and I was standing looking at the schedule. He came in and grabbed my ass and was basically all over me all during break. He vibrated his phone right on me through my pants and rubbed my leg and I made him hard. So, he let me touch him there. I gave him a hug and he grabbed my ass again. He was making me go crazy! When I took the garbage back there, he showed me a book he had found in donations about a ton of different sex positions. He’s like, “I’m going to do these with you,” and then when we could clock out, he came into the room right after me and grabbed my ass, back and front. And he’s like, “could you be late to your cabin?” and I said, yeah. But I didn’t have my phone so yeah. I want to hang out with him soooo bad. I’m hoping tomorrow night after work!

So today was thanksgiving. It’s been a pretty lame ass day. It’s just the five of us up here at the cabin. Eddie and Meryl have teamed up together and are excluding me, so I’m hating this. I am not in a good mood. And I just want to leave. I’m staying at Delia’s tonight and then going shopping tomorrow with her and Andrea. Oh! And I got my phone back today! Because I went to work last night and made the “right choice.” Yeah. So now I’m going to find something to do and try not to kill myself. (joke) ttyl!

❤ Ava Estelle

Present day me: My mom was so weird with her punishments and expectations. She still didn’t trust me entirely but I still had to go to work and school so she had to get in touch with me somehow. I think having me go to work without my phone she realized I should have it anyway and made up that excuse to give it back to me then.

November 24, 2009

Tuesday

Still no phone. Going fricken crazy! I really want to switch my ipod for my phone. But today I went to school. Pretty crappy actually. I talked to Rhonda on the phone, it was such a GOOD conversation. We talked for two hours about my Friday night, friends, Hannah, what we think of each other now, how life has changed and how everything just is. It was sad but good to talk everything out. I told her how I felt about when her and Tabitha came to visit me at work and she said it feel like I look down on the two of them because I’ve done more stuff than them, which I guess I do, but they’re still two of my best friends. But its hard because I tell Rhonda stuff but I can’t tell Tabitha because she wouldn’t be my friend anymore and same with Delia. So yeah. I really hate this school year.

Maybe will hang with Derek on Friday though?

❤ Ava Estelle

Present day me: I remember being strategic about what each of my friends knew about me at this time. In hindsight it sucked but I also could acknowledge that the things I told Rhonda were probably being told to Tabitha too, at least at some points in time. Delia was a little removed from those two so I could preserve my friendship with her differently.

November 21, 2009 (2)

November 21, 2009

9:46pm Saturday

Let me write down about the last couple of days:

Thursday – well actually Friday morning I went to the New Moon premiere at midnight! With Delia and Tabitha. We had made shirts, and I drove. We got to the theater at 10, I had brought candy, we sat for two hours and then the movie came on. It was SO good! Jacob Black = so fucking hot! Yeah, and I’m team Jacob now. After the movie I saw Bailey from work going to the 2:30am showing. I told her that it was really good! She said, have fun going to school later! So, we slept for a total of 3 hours. I felt fine first through third hour and then crashed fourth, fell asleep in fifth, sixth (failed my civics test) and seventh. Came home, took a nap/rest for 45 minutes and then went to work. I worked with Aimee, Mildred, Layla, Derek and Erin. We got out on time. I was holding up pretty nicely too! So, I came home and Meryl was here with her friends and I waited for Gil and Emily to come.

Let’s skip to today now. Woke up this morning and took Meryl’s friends home. Came back, opened all the windows upstairs to air it out, it smelled like pot, smoke, and sex. Ha wow. Ironic huh? And I turned on the fan. I pretty much sat around all day. Mom came home and blew up at us, Cathy called her. She made us clean. But she just knows about Meryl, not me. 😊 but we got our phones taken away for a week. Whatever. And yeah. Now I’m going to go talk with Meryl about my night and the 3 sum! 😊

❤ Ava Estelle

Present day me: I remember my mom took away my phone too because I allowed my sister to have friends over while she was gone. Having my phone taken away for a week wasn’t that bad at the time. Looking back on these few days as a 30 year old it’s amazing what I could get through without much sleep and still be okay overall. These days I could not do a full day of school and working on little sleep like that. It’s a fun experience to look back on.