2009 – Page 3 – Ava's Journal Entries

September 27, 2009

Sunday

Friday: School – laaaame. Went to the football game with Delia. It was rainy, kind of cold. Delia took me home and I went to bed. Alright day.

Saturday: got to drive and run to Best Buy, Wal-Mart, and Target with Eddie. And then I went to Great Clips with Meryl to get our hair cut. Came home, Tabitha and Delia came over so we could figure out homecoming stuff. I drove the two of them up to Shopko and we found a few things. We went to Starbucks and I took Tabitha home. Delia left a little after. I chilled and did homework. We rented a movie – Benjamin Button.

Sunday: went to work for 8 hours. Closed with a bunch of people. Came home and did homework. I don’t understand this chemistry at all. I have to get all A’s in order to be able to drive. So that’ll be good. Great. Fucking bullshit. Oh well, that’s it for now.

❤ Ava Estelle

Present day me: Not much to respond to about this entry from present day me.

September 20, 2009

Sunday

Pretty good weekend. I think my life may be getting better. Friday after school I got to drive up to the cabin, I picked up Eddie at school and then met up with Uncle Charlie and Aunt Ivy, Uncle Gil and Aunt Bea at the cabin. I was in a really good mood since I got to drive! We went out to eat and there was a cute waiter there who served us. I think he was looking at me, he gave me my food first when he brought it all out. Hehe. We came back to the cabin and played Butt Darts! That was a lot of fun! My team won! With Aunt Bea, Uncle Gil, Eddie, and Preston. We put a quarter between our butt cheeks and walked across the room to try and drop it into a cup on the floor. After that we played LOL and I went to bed around midnight. Woke up, got ready for work, and drove back into town and worked for 8 hours. That was one looooong day. I went out to eat with Tabitha at Fazoli’s and then to Rachel’s to babysit for a few hours. Her kid slept the whole time and woke up once, so I watched tv and came home around 1:30am and went to bed. I woke up, went to work for 4 hours, came home and Delia brought over the laptop! 😊 it’s awesome! We went to Starbucks and talked for a while. She brought me home and I just sat on Facebook for a while. Now I should do some homework.

G’night!

❤ Ava Estelle

Present day me: I remember this time. It was so much fun playing games with my family and laughing a lot. The game LOL stands for Lines of Laughter, which is based on scenes from a hat from the show Whose Line is it Anyway? Its nice to read an entry just about my happenings for a few days. Family time, work time, and friend time!

September 15, 2009

My life is fucked up!

I have to get a new job.

I applied at Michaels and Shopko.

And mom said I might have to quit even if I don’t get hired anywhere else. Ugh! I hate this.

Why did I have to hang with Derek this last time? I wish I could erase that. Ugh!

Maybe if I pray it will be better, help me a little. Who knows. I just wish my parents would just give this some time and see how the next few weeks go.

That’s it for now.

Bad night.

Present day me: I like that I wrote about a bad day within my journals. I tended to write more about good things happening instead of the bad so I wouldn’t remember them as much. But, in hindsight I’m glad I wrote about bad things too, it did help me to get out my feelings at the time and help me process through the tougher times.

September 12, 2009

Saturday

NSFW entry!

Last night I went to work and worked with Shelby, Hilly and Derek. I found out Hilly and Derek had sex in April and I told her and Shelby about me and Derek. So that was a little unexpected. And today I was supposed to go to a birthday party for Grace, Maddy and Kayla, but I couldn’t so I sat at home. Crappy day. Mom and Cathy had a bonfire so I talked with them and dad and the first step to getting my freedom back is to find a new job. I’m not going to tell anyone at work about it. But I’ll talk with my friends about it. I’m thinking I’ll try Michael’s again, and maybe Target. Whatever. I guess I’ll go to bed. I’m sleepy.

G’night!
❤ Ava Estelle

Present day me: I remember during the process of me finding a job and figuring out where to apply to my parents both told me that no job is beneath me and I should apply to different places. Then when I get a job at goodwill, my mom decides that everyone who works there is below me and isn’t good enough to be my friend and then threatens me to find a new job just 5 months after I started. Really really lame.

September 7, 2009

Labor Day

Monday

NSFW entry!

Yesterday I worked for 8 more hours. I had my pm break with Hunter but luckily Aimee showed up at 1 and I told her to take her break with me at 3. So we talked about my summer happenings and she knows Aaron and Tori because she’s a senior at their school. So I got out at 6 and mom picked me up and brought me to the cabin, Oma, Opa, Uncle Pat, Aunt Blanche, Phoebe and Ryan were here. It was awkward. Most boring thing ever! Anyway, I might buy Delia’s mom’s laptop for $250. So that would be sweet! I don’t know what else to write. School tomorrow. Not excited, started raining in Ecuador today. Great. Oh well, it had to come sometime. I can’t believe it’s only been a month since I started fooling around with Derek. Hehe. And the other night was probably the best. Even though his breath smelt so bad after, and he said I tasted good, so that’s weird to think about. But kind of cool that it happened. If I was 18 I’d have sex with him. Oh well! One more year, but let’s hope I won’t be fooling around with him still in a year. Well I guess that’s it. More later!

❤ Ava Estelle

Present day me: the term raining in Ecuador was a code phrase my friends and I used when it was our time of the month. It’s really funny I wrote hopefully I don’t be still fooling around with Derek in a year….

September 5, 2009

NSFW entry!

Saturday

Went to work for 8 hours. Had breaks with Georgia. Saw Hunter and Eric. Kyle got there at 5 and I left at 5:15. So I went out to eat for dinner with Delia and then we went to see The Ugly Truth – rated R!! It was good and made a lot of dirty jokes. Then we visited Devin and Brad and played rock band. After that she dropped me off at the park where I met up with Derek. We fooled around and I let him in my pants this time. It was fun. He ate me out too. That felt good, too. We made out a little bit and then it was midnight. So, I had to go home. We walked together a bit and then parted. Came home, went on Facebook and got a friend request from Gil from work. Haha. We have no mutual friends, so I wasn’t sure who he was at first. So yeah, it’s 1:20am and I need to go to bed.

Pretty good day!

❤ Ava Estelle 😊

Present day me: ohh memories of my escapades from the beginning of my chapter with men!

September 1, 2009

NSFW entry!

Tuesday

Woke up to a text from Derek saying he had the house to himself. So I took a shower and such and walked over there. He made some eggs, and we watched tv, and played wii. Then we went up to his room. I didn’t let him under my pants, just everywhere else. I gave him a hand job through his shorts. He came, of course. Then it was 12:15 and I had gotten there at like 9:30. So I walked home in time for Delia to pick me up. We went out to eat and then went to hang with Andrea and give her camera back. We watched Degrassi and talked of course. After that Delia and I went to Coldstone and she brought me home. Dad took me to work, I walk into the break room and see Hunter, he was reading a book. I looked at the shift plan and then sat down and wrote on my time sheet. He then passed me an envelope with my name on it with a note saying: open when I’m at home or alone. And he left. So I worked my shift and went to Delia’s to watch 10 things I hate about you. I opened the letter at her house. It basically said he’s grateful for the time that he spent with me and told me Happy Birthday, and that he’s not going to try a relationship, friendship or communication with me. He also enclosed $100 in cash.

That’s it.

G’night! Very interesting day.

❤ Ava Estelle

Present day me: I remember opening the letter and reading it and being a tad confused by the perspective he wrote from. The letter itself was written in metaphors from a story he identified with from his experience with me. Then when I opened the envelope with the cash I was in shock. I remember calling Eric, who knew Hunter from school and work and asking him what he thought about this whole letter. He said he’s surprised but also knows Hunter is giving. So, it was a lucky time for me then.

August 31, 2009

Monday

NSFW entry!

Sat around all day. Went to work at 5. I was assigned to donations. Who was there? Kyle, Derek, and Hunter. Wow, right? I talked with Kyle. We took break together. Made out a little. Groped me a little. At the end Kyle helped me with floor recovery. It was nice to see him again. But he’s kind of annoying with his whole trying to be gangster shtick. He’s white, not gangster. On well, I’m thinking once he’s done at goodwill, I’ll be done with him and get my car back!

Kyle thought me and Gil have a thing. Nope. I think Gil has a girlfriend.

I told Kyle the only way we’d be able to hang out would be at footballs games. I’m not sure if he liked that idea.

So, I’m almost excited for school to start. New year, new boys to look at! 😊

❤ Ava Estelle

Present day me: At that point the team leaders/supervisors at goodwill didn’t know anything about who I’ve dated or spent time with outside of work so I was placed to work with all the guys I’ve been hanging out with that summer, what a day.

August 25, 2009

Tuesday

NSFW entry!

Had off of work today!

This morning I hung out with Derek, in his room, on his bed. He’s a lot more gentle than Kyle, but I think I like Kyle better. And that only lasted like 20 minutes, and I walked home. I got ready, Delia picked me up and we went to Kayla’s, Garret, Harry, Timmy, Devin, Brad, Brandon and Craig and Grace were there. We watched a movie and then played poker. Us four girls ate dinner out and then we decided to have the guys come back over to Kayla’s for some strip poker since her dad wasn’t home! So, it ended up being us girls, Grace, Devin, Brad and Harry, we played strip spoons. It was so much fun! Kayla, me, and Delia were down to our underwear and bras, after Devin and Brad left Harry had to strip down to his boxers. It was so awesome – then Delia had to take me home. So yeah. So great to see everyone again! And I’ll get to see them all and more on Saturday! I’m really excited! So yeah. I talked to Kyle on myspace last night for a bit and told him I still want him in my life and that I miss him, but he signed off in the middle of our conversation. So I messaged him and he told me if I want to talk to him I should call him. So I got his number again and will probably call him tomorrow. I have mixed feelings about this, part of me wants him back and part of me just doesn’t want to go there again. So yeah. That’s about it for now. So more latah!

❤ Ava Estelle

Present day me: I remember how fun it was to play strip spoons with everyone. We laughed a lot and it’s a great memory. It also entertaining to read about how I juggled boys at this time in my life.

August 24, 2009

Monday 11:45am

Bored at the cabin.

Oma and Opa are here, I’m extremely bored and just want to see my friends. I miss them so much. I talked to Rhonda today and told her about this past week. It was a week ago today that I met Kyle and now it’s all over. It was a lot of fun while it lasted, that’s for sure. But it’s almost better that it ended the way that it did because I know in the back of my mind my relationship with him wouldn’t have really lasted once school started and then I’d have had to break up with him and yeah. We went out for about 24 hours. Oh well, now I move on and focus on school. I have my birthday party on Saturday! I’m so excited for that! And I’m thinking it’ll be even better than last year! And tomorrow I’m going to Kayla’s creek with people, so that’ll be good. So, I’m still being hopeful through it all, things will get better. I’ll get my parents to trust me again and I’ll get my car back and it’ll all be fine. And hopefully when school starts I’ll meet a new guy, and now I better be done writing, Eddie and Meryl will probably come find me soon. More later.

❤ Ava Estelle

Present day me: This was a period where I was thinking about my actions and how I lied to my parents and was caught. I definitely learned from this experience but it was still a struggle between my parents and I when it came to me hanging out with people who I met at work.